I Like Traffic Lights
by gods sent angel
Summary: I admit, this is by far the worst songfic EVER. Still. Shuichi takes his life into his own hands by letting Yuki drive him to an appointment.


I am going to write the worst songfic EVER! Why? Because I hate them and love them all at once. I loathe their existence, but I can't resist a good one (which is so very hard to find, anyways) cough So, prepare everybody.

"Yuki! I don't wanna go!"

Yuki glared at his petite little lover in annoyance, cigarette burning away in his hand. Shuichi gave him a look that would have melted a lesser man, but Yuki held firm. How Shuichi managed to pull off a look like that with the look Yuki was giving him was anybody's guess. Calmly the blonde novelist took a drag of the cigarette in his hand and exhaled before finally speaking.

"Shut up."

Yes, he had made his verbal contribution to the world for the day. Now he could relapse to the much more comfortable realm of glaring hatefully at everything.

"But Yuki," the pink haired brat whined. Yuki scowled harder. Shuichi was going to make him use _more_ words? The bastard.

"I'll drive you." Ah, a bribe if ever he gave one. And it worked, like it always did when he promised any amount of time and attention to his little freak. Shuichi brightened immediately and seemed to forget why he was objecting in the first place as he began to drag Yuki to the car. With a sigh of long suffering, Yuki got into the driver's seat and revved the engine. Slowly he backed out, ignoring the bouncing punk spaz in the passenger seat as best he could. They made it to the main road and were soon on their way.

"Yuki," Shuichi asked, calming down enough to actually sit in the seat instead of rocket around it.

_ I like traffic lights,_

_I like traffic lights_

"Why are traffic lights green?"

_ I like traffic lights_

"To hell if I know," Yuki grumbled around the butt of yet another cancer stick.

_No matter where they've been. _

"Yuki, you almost ran a red light," Shuichi pointed out, staring out the window at the approaching, and rapidly passing, traffic lights.

_I like traffic lights,_

_I like traffic lights,_

_I like traffic lights,_

_But only when they're green. _

"But I didn't, did I?" Yuki bit back, though it came out a bit more pout-ish then it really should have.

"Well, no…"

"Then shut up."

_ I like traffic lights,_

_I like traffic lights,_

_I like traffic lights,_

_I like traffic lights,_

_That is what I said. _

"Yuki!"

Yuki snarled as he stomped the brakes in a way no brake was ever meant to be stomped. The car skidded to a halt just shy of the pedestrian walk as the light turned red. By just shy, he meant, of course, just shy of crossing over it into the lines of traffic zooming about in front of them.

"Fuck," Yuki growled.

"It was just a traffic light, Yuki," Shuichi said, trying to assuage him.

_I like traffic lights,_

_I like traffic lights,_

_I like traffic lights,_

_I like traffic lights,_

_I like traffic lights,_

_I like traffic lights,_

_I like traffic lights,_

_But not when they are red._

He was not about to explain his driving philosophy to the little dork in the seat beside him. The twerp would never understand. He had a method. A method that involved no red lights. Yellow was fine, because he could ignore them, but red…red was a colour of evil. Red like Satan. Red like Mika's dresses. Red like the brat next to him's hair in the ungodly OAV series.

He _hated_ red.

Finally, after far too long for any light to remain any colour except green, the traffic lights did change to green. Yuki was off like a bat out of hell. Any bats, flying out of hell, would have been in awe as they ate his dust. Light speed would put its tail between its legs and die. Well maybe not, but it should in respect of Yuki's mad driving skills.

Finally they were one block away from their destination. Just two more lights between it and them. Yuki gripped the steering wheel tighter. He would make it through, damnit. No red lights for him. None. Those damn red lights better stay the fuck away in reverence of his abilities. And his temper. Even inanimate object quivered before it, just like that rock beside the walk way to the left. It was quaking in its dirt hole.

He was making a break for it.

_ I like traffic lights,_

_I like traffic lights,_

_I like traffic lights,_

_I like traffic lights,_

_I like traffic lights,_

_I like traffic lights,_

_I like traffic lights,_

_I like traffic lights,_

_I like traffic lights,_

_I like traffic lights,_

_I like traffic lights,_

_I like traffic lights,_

_Although my name's no Bambo. _

"Yuki…" Shuichi started nervously. Yuki could not be bothered to spare him a glance. Almost through the first light now.

_I like traffic lights,_

_I like traffic lights_

"Yuki!" Damnit, what did the brat want?

_I like traffic lights,_

_I like traffic lights_

"Yuki, the light is turning yellow!"

_ I like traffic lights_

"We'll make it," he growled. They were almost to it, anyways.

"No, the _next_ one!" Damn. They wouldn't make that one. But damned if he refused to try. Shuichi clutched his seat in fear, and Yuki though he heard him praying under his breath. Mere feet from the cross walk the light turned. Yuki smashed the breaks with a bout of very colourful and vivid language. Shuichi tried not to shake too much. To make it worse, there was no traffic on the other side of the light. Damned these timed lights. Damn them.

"You know, it's just on the other side of the walk," Shuichi said shakily. "I'll just walk."

"Like hell you're walking," Yuki snapped, flexing his grip on the steering wheel. Shuichi scooted deeper into his seat and waited. When the light finally turned, Yuki calmly pulled into the hospital parking lot. Shuichi quickly got out, but he paused before shutting the door and turned to look at Yuki.

"Are you going to take me home, or do I need to find a ride back now?" he asked uncertainly. Yuki debated leaving him here to fend for himself, but…

_I like traffic lights…_

_Oh, I don't want to do this anymore,_

_I'm bored. _

"No, I'll wait for you," Yuki said. "Just don't take forever or I'll leave you here."

Shuichi beamed at him and shut the door, turning to enter the building. Yuki turned to find a parking space. The things he did for that little freak.

Author's Note: I fail at life, I know. Anyways, I've been asked a few times now why Shuichi's going to the hospital. To be honest, I'm not really sure what my reasoning for that was, but it wouldn't have been anything more than for a routine checkup, like you're supposed to get every year. But how ever really does that? I've also been asked to turn this into an mpreg, and before anyone else asks, I'm sorry, but I won't. I have very odd rules about mpreg, the foremost being _no humans_. Sorry. If I get enough requests I might do an AU where he's a demon or something, but it's not likely. Isn't Gravitation Max good enough?


End file.
